Friday, November 7, 2008

Miss you Zane

Tonight I received horrible news. Recently I made contact with an old fraternity brother, Zane, who was a blast to be around. We both had an AG background but at the time we were pledging a fraternity and pretty much just being stupid. However, a bond was formed and when it came to naming my son just 7 years later, I chose Zane as his middle name rather than giving him my name - okay Judy was not going for Stephan Zane. I really liked him and also thought the name was a cool California name rather than a Western novelists name (Zane Grey).

I googled him this summer and found his facebook site. We shot a few messages back and forth on facebook and found out he was here in Oklahoma for the Summer. I called him twice and left dorky a messages on his phone like "give me the creed pledge" or something like that. I never heard back so figured he moved back to the Northeast.

Today I receive a facebook message wanting to know if I was Zane's friend and that I should call or message back at my earliest oppertunity. I just figured it was someone trying to track him down and was planning on calling Zane before giving information out. After a few messages back and forth, I read this "Steve, Zane passed away early yesterday morning. He was hit by a car and died instantly." It was gut wrenching and right now I am wishing it was just a sick story.

I called her up on the way to pick up my son from church. I was supposed to take my Josh Zane to get something to eat but I am just driving aimlessly around our city talking randomly about memories. I told her how he used to open his wallet and start showing pictures of his family and then come to a picture of Elvis and say "this is my dad." Man it was cheesy and I would just laugh. We would do stupid stuff to pledges but more in a fun, relief way as opposed to harsh treatment. I plan to scan old pictures to show you some of the stuff. Hope I can find them soon.

The last time I remember seeing him would have been in the fall of 1990. He took a hop into Tinker AFB and I hauled him and my pregnant wife down to Ada to hit our old stomping grounds. Judy you're a saint for going along.

Since then we maybe interacted only two or three times until recently.
Our last "conversation" saved on Facebook

Me (Aug 3): "Hey is this Zane from...East Central University. If so, man how have you been doing?"

Zane: "Oh my god. I was looking for you last week. All over the internet. Oh my god. Wow."

Me: "Cool. Did I ever tell you that my son's middle name is Zane. I am so glad to find you but did not think you would be on the East Coast. We're still in Oklahoma but did two assignments in Europe" [noticed I had to slip Germany in the convo]

Z: "Brother, I'm in Edmond for the summer! I'm here now."
That pretty much was the end. Just a few days ago I checked his profile out because someone tagged him in pictures.

I was so happy to get back in contact with him and so wish I would have called, e-mailed, and messaged him more so I could have seen him before he passed away. Now I just sit her stunned, waiting to hear news of where his funeral is and paying my respects. Would have loved coffee at Starbucks, reminiscing about old times, and sharing new stories.

The mission of Phi Kappa Tau is to champion a lifelong commitment to brotherhood, learning, ethical leadership, and exemplary character.



  1. I am so sorry for your lose Steve.

  2. Steve, could you please scan and post the photos you've mentioned? I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks.

  3. They're scanned, see my 16 May post plus I added them to facebook.

  4. Steve - I was doing a search on the internet for my old friend Zane - trying to find him on Facebook. Then, google showed your blog. You mention a lot of similarities of my friend and the photos look like him - but I'm in denial. Is this the same Zane Wiggins that I knew? Did the Zane you mention go to APU in CA? Did he live in Covina/Azusa in 1987??? Please let me know... I need to know... I'm so sad just finding out years later!

    Valerie (

  5. Ive been looking for him.....wondering why he never accepted my friend request on facebook. I found this blog last night. I'm totally shocked and sad. I cant believe I'm just finding this out:( what a loss of a great friend from my past......